True Patriotism!!!

I recently had the opportunity to share an evening with some old friends of mine (Mr. & Mrs. "S" ) at a restaurant here in town. As the evening bore on and several adult beverages were consumed, the stories got better and rowdier as we went. The night was quite enjoyable and filled with the laughter of good company.

There were occasions throughout the evening, I noticed, that Mrs. S snorted as she laughed. Now, before you go pointing fingers in her direction and snickering, consider this. I had learned from conversations with Mrs.S that she had liaisons with Ft. Knox as pertains to her employment. She passed it off as her being a Belly Dancer at the Senior NCO club, but after I studied it a bit, I think that was just a cover; a ruse, if you will.

I think she really works on some highly classified government projects and should be saluted for her efforts by one and all. I came across this article in the Howe Valley Howler later and it all just seemed to fall into place...the snorts...the hoots...Ft Knox...

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The Howe Valley Howler

Buford P. Snodgrass - Staff Writer

What a phenomenom the snort poses! I would think somewhere in an undergound laboratory, tucked away in dark secrecy, many studies have been done on this very topic (undoubtedly at a huge taxpayer's expence). It has enormous potential as a secret weapon. Envision this if you will:

"Early reports are in from the field as the Army tested its new SG-1 Agent on actual enemies in combat today. Initially, at least, it looks as if the results are quite satisfactory. Reports indicate that the SG-1 (nicknamed 'Snort Gas' ) was administered to a large group of insurgents surrounded in Sadr City, Iraq.

Application of the agent was accomplished by rocket-propelled grenades. Almost immediately, hostile fire stopped coming from the insurgents positions followed by a thundering roar of uncontollable snorts. One soldier on hand had this to say, "Holy Jeebus! It sounded like slaughter day at a Jimmy Dean's sausage plant in there! We just walked right in and took 'em prisoner without incident. I swear, I ain't never seen the likes of it before!"

Currently, the Army is working on an improved and even more viable SG product for those enemies that may prove to have stronger resolve. The SG-H-1/UU is almost available for field testing and will be forwarded to the troops in Afghanistan within the month to test in the field on Talaban Fighters.

This family of weapons is based on the SG-1's basic grade material but introduces an H-factor to induce 'hooting' as well as UU -additives to initiate 'uncontrollable urination'.

High hopes are being held out for the use of this technology as it could end the bloodshed in a matter of weeks. As one senior level official from the Pentegon put it, "There is nothing silly about our snorting. We believe this technology holds the power for world peace. Our investigations have not stopped short in snorts. We will continue to follow our noses as we develop the field of snort technology. We are looking into all sorts of snorts and intend to 'bring home the bacon' with this project. That is if we can overcome opposition on the Hill from those squealing anti-snort snots. Our snoots sniff snorts as the wave of the future, so they might as well quit sniveling about it."

More on this break-through as we 'sniff it out??? Back to you, Arnold"

I have great fear that Mrs. S has become contaminated with some of this agent, as could only happen if she were involved in its development. Seems I do recall a hoot or two coming from her between snorts and trips to the ladies room.

What a sacrifice for anyone to make for their country and world peace!!! My hat is off to you, dear lady! SALUTE!!!